No Phibbing

There was action in six different leagues: Football League Championship, Isthmian Division One South, Combined Counties, Middlesex County, Islington Midweek and Hayes & District Sunday.

There were 23 goals but I was starting to lose count of all the penalties and red cards. Islington Admiral had a routine 3-0 win over Phibbers at Market Road last Thursday, two days after I’d seen FC Mutant overcome Dover Castle 3-2 at the same illustrious venue. I thought some of the Mutant players might have two heads, making them particularly useful at corners, but they actually looked quite normal.

The Good Friday and Easter Saturday games, played under miserable grey skies and spots of rain, both had a penalty and a dismissal. Whyteleafe’s giant ‘keeper, about a foot taller than everyone else, upended a Leatherhead player in the box and had to walk. He handed his jersey to ‘Leafe’s No.5 and it came down to his knees. Despite the wardrobe malfunction, he saved the spot-kick with his right foot. Yes, you can use your hands. Tanners won 2-0.

I was in a crowd of five to watch Willesden Constantine’s home fixture with Bethnal Green United in a field off Alperton Lane, the Wembley arch in the near distance. Green’s 4-0 victory, which started with a perfect penalty into the bottom corner, leaves them a point behind the leaders. Their No.7, who’d shown some nifty dribbling skills, was red-carded after saying some rude words to one of the assistant referees.

It was an unfortunate incident. The player was racing down the right wing with a Willesden defender alongside and the latter clearly caught him in the face with his hand. The assistant’s view, one which I shared, was that the contact had been accidental.

The groundsman at the Ealing Central Sports Ground told me that he was expecting three games to be played that Sunday morning but only two teams put in an appearance, Northolt Rangers and Cowley Rebels. Rangers were 3-1 winners of a game that I’ll remember for some shocking abuse (and threats) directed towards the match officials. It was scary.

Easter Monday’s two fixtures both finished 3-2 and were very good entertainment. Bedfont Green – surely Combined Counties League champions – netted a 90th-minute winner at North Greenford United in the morning. Both teams had a penalty, both kicks were blocked by the ‘keeper and both times the taker’s team followed up to score. A home player saw red after he and an opponent had got tangled up in the centre circle. More abuse for the poor ref.

I walked back to Greenford tube to get to QPR’s game with Sheffield Wednesday and found a sign at the bottom of the escalators that said ‘Dogs must be carried’. But I didn’t have one! I was in a hurry so I went up slowly, looking both ways, and I think I got away with it. Rangers won 3-2 after being two goals down with more than an hour played. Definitely worth the £25.

The Middlesex County League have another one of their morning kick-offs this coming Saturday. Copland play Sloane at Stonebridge Ground, Hillside, London NW10 at 11 am.