Other games at Fulham, Paddington Rec and Wembley FC in the last week have taken "The Barber" up to 5,166.

The results were: Fulham 1 Wycombe 2, Eastbourne Town 3 Hassocks 1 aet, Eastbourne Town Ladies 2 Ashford Girls 1, Viacom 1 Philosophy 2 and Wembley 4 Clacton Town 2.

It’s highly unusual for me to pass up any kind of match but I carried on walking, head down, collar up, to my mum’s flat for supper despite noticing that Eastbourne Town Reserves were engaged in one of their Friday night fixtures at The Saffrons (v Sidley United, no less). I discovered later that within ten minutes of my walking past, the floodlights had fizzled out and the match had been abandoned. I’m sure there’s a moral there somewhere.

But I was back at the Theatre of Dreams on the Saturday afternoon, with a spring in my step and vice versa. Town were two minutes away from crashing out of the Vase when they forced the ball home in a scramble in front of the Syd Myall and Taffy Jones Stand. Then the yellows scored again in the first minute of extra-time and went on to win 3-1. At the end I felt drained of all emotion…I think we all did.

Men against boys? No, on Sunday it was "ladies against girls" as Eastbourne Town Ladies took on Ashford Girls in The FA Women’s Cup. On an impossibly hot afternoon (for late September) about 30 fans saw Town race into a 2-0 lead, with the second goal an outrageous swerver from near a corner flag. "Are you sure you meant that?", laughed the ref.

The Ashford coach was so cross with his team’s performance that he wouldn’t let them go to the dressing room for a much-needed cold drink at half-time. The players had to sit in a circle on the pitch and be told how they were letting themselves down. I would mention "hair dryer" at this point but I probably shouldn’t go there.

Ashford did "pull a goal back" (as we say in the business) with four minutes to go for 2-1. Then Town ‘keeper Annabelle, who was both elegant and courageous throughout, made a blinding save from a shot soaring towards the top corner to keep them in the competition. Now they have a local derby at Lewes in the Second Qualifying Round.

There was Vase replay action at Vale Farm last night, Wembley winning a cracker 4-2 against Clacton. I got there at 7.30 for a 7.45 kick-off to be told that the programmes had "sold out". But there were only 12 people in the ground. It was pretty chilly by the end – I must see if I can get my anorak back from the museum.