Different gravy

I’ve been to 13 matches in the last nine days, so some kind of psychiatric assessment is probably in order. Last week began with Hendon v Maidstone United in the Isthmian Premier – I walked to Vale Farm from the Stadium – and Old Actonians v Polytechnic in the Southern Amateur League’s Senior Division One.

The attendances, respectively, were 171 and three.

Then I had a couple of days down in Bournemouth, where it was dry and sunny but colder than January. Wednesday night’s match was Hamworthy United v Hayling United in the Wessex Premier and I went up to the tea hut before kick-off for a pie. The nice ladies there warmed it up for me and I had it with a knife and fork on a silver tray!

The Hayling players doing their warm-up saw me in the stand and thought it was hilarious. There was quite a racket going on at that time, Poole Pirates’ speedway riders revving up their bikes at nearby Poole Stadium. I could see the floodlights twinkling in the distance.

The following evening I was at AFC Bournemouth’s ground for 7.45 to see Aldershot Town v AFC Totton in the Hampshire Senior Cup Final. Literally over the road, in King’s Park, I’d had the opportunity to take in a Bournemouth Sunday League Division Five fixture between Lovett and AFC Stourvale. This started at 6pm and became 40 minutes each way in the fading light.

I wasn’t expecting too much from that first match of the evening, with the Lovett players lining up in the warm-up to take shots about two yards from the goal that invariably ended up in the car park. But they actually took the lead inside 15 seconds, showing how wrong you can be.

There were 623 fans at the Final and they saw Totton, four levels below Aldershot, win 4-0. The next evening I watched the Combined Counties League’s Premier Cup Final at Staines, a crowd of 304 present for Cove’s 2-0 extra-time victory over Bedfont. Both matches had a player sent off.

At the weekend I paid my first visit of the season to Bedfont Sports, close to the end of their first campaign in the Combined Counties League’s Division One after coming up from the Middlesex County League. Sports were solid in defence – earning the plaudit ‘Different gravy!’ from their ‘keeper – and ran out 3-1 winners against South Park from Reigate. I counted 27 spectators.

I saw two West End Sunday League Finals at Hanwell on Sunday, featuring Chefchaouen Berbers v Greenhouse Bethwin at 11am and Fernhead Rovers v Silvy Bees at 2pm. I saw nine goals and some decent football. Did I mention that I once saw a Clowns team play in a charity match? The players had ginger wigs, red noses, revolving bow-ties and boots two feet long. They took the lead with five minutes to go, which had their coach shouting from the dugout: ‘Nothing silly!’