In his final column of the season, the midfielder looks back at Nottingham Forest's enthralling defeat at the City Ground before explaining why he could not face going to The Cup Final.

Losing to Yeovil in the Play-Off Semi-Final was the worst feeling I have had in my career. I never want to feel like that again.

We were full of confidence going into the game. Perhaps the only thing that concerned me was that they had not scored against us in three games this season. But there was never any doubt in my mind that we would score.

When they went 1-0 up I thought 'here we go'. They had enjoyed most of the possession while we played defensively. We invited them to attack and that put pressure on us.

When Scott Dobie equalised on the night to put us 3-1 ahead on aggregate, I just felt a massive sense of relief. It was game over in my mind. They could not score two goals in the time remaining.

The Yeovil players were confident though. You could hear their manager and players shouting 'come on, it's only two goals'. Their players had the belief and they wanted to take the game to us. All we had to do was keep the ball.

They pulled a goal back with nine minutes to go. When the guy struck the ball I thought it was going into the top corner. I thought 'thank God' when it hit the post, a real sense of relief. But poor old Wrighty [Alan Wright], the ball smacked him in the face and rolled agonisingly into the net.

Then they equalised. Our keeper Paul Smith was probably our man of the match in both games, but perhaps he could have come for the cross which Marcus Stewart headed in.

We were really up against it when Prutts [David Prutton] then got sent off. He was really fired up but he could not control himself. I was getting frustrated too.

I was not getting any of the ball and took it out on Arron Davies, who scored their first goal. He kept on cutting in, just like I wanted to do, so I thought I would do something about it and clattered him. I knew I had to be careful after getting a yellow card. Unfortunately Prutts was not so careful.

Going down to ten men was the final nail in the coffin. It was the last of three things that went terribly wrong for us - own goal, late goal and a sending-off. Then Wrighty got cramp.

It was a terrible mistake that put them 4-3 ahead. Poor old Wes [Morgan]. He'd been brought on to shore things up but his short backpass let their striker in. I felt sorry for him because he's been tremendous this season.

The game took another twist when Gary Holt got us back in the game. That gave us a chance, although I thought our best hope of winning was on penalties. Looking around though, there was only me, Perchy [James Perch] and Holty [Grant Holt] who have taken penalties. We might have struggled to scrape together five penalty takers. It didn't matter though as they got a winner.

I was devastated at the final whistle. I just could not believe we had lost. It was suicidal football. It was a crazy night - I had lost count of the score. I could not believe they had scored five goals having not scored once against us in their previous three games.

The dressing room was silent. Only the gaffer said a few words. He talked to Prutts who then apologised for what he did. I just wanted to get showered and get home as quickly as possible. I left my phone off too. I knew the sort of texts I was going to get.

I just wanted to get away from football. I was supposed to be going to The FA Cup Final the next day, but I just could not face it. I was supposed to be at Wembley as I won a Player of the Round award, but I could not bring myself to go. I didn't want to be at Wembley knowing I was not going to be playing there. Instead, the missus and I went for a walk, did some shopping and then watched a film later.

The club have offered me a new contract, but I told them I am going to sit down with my family and talk about my future. I'm going to be 24 soon and want to be playing at the highest level possible.

I have not talked to any clubs and I'm not fishing around to find a new one, but I need to challenge myself. Staying at Forest is still an option. I love playing for the club.

But in the meantime, I'm going to the Maldives on holiday with the missus. It's a lovely place. We went a couple of years ago and I'm looking forward to going back. I just want to get away from football and relax.

Thanks for reading my column this season. Have a good summer.